Monday, January 21, 2013

Same Destination, Longer Journey

                                                              Sweetie
                                                                                                         Honey
                                                                                 Girly
                                                                                                                                  Doll

During a recent conversation with a male friend of mine I was posed with the question, "Do you think women have to work harder to get to the exact same spot as men?" 

As soon as the question was asked, it was not one that I had to think about or even consider. The way he had asked that question had hit me like a bus. 


I was raised by a father who owns a car dealership and a mother who stayed home to raise four children while finishing her college degree. I was raised with beliefs that I can do anything or be anything that I want as long as I do all I can to get there. Everyone in my extended family has paved their own way in life whether they are male or female. Growing up in a family of entrepreneurs I have always had very high standards for myself.

This past month I went to New York on a business trip with my father and little sister. When we went to the office of a man who had purchased a vehicle from us, I went inside to present the paperwork to him. After he had signed the papers, I also did my part in the sale and signed them. The buyer cocked his head to one side and asked, "are you sure you're supposed to be signing those sweetie?" I was very taken back by his comment and for a moment didn't know what to do. I replied to him by saying, "While your comment was very rude, I have not been called 'sweetie' since I was about ten. I have been writing up car sales since before I could drive a vehicle." I was expecting an apology or recognition that he had said something wrong. I had not gotten either. While I said that he maintained a blank expression with maybe even a trace of amusement. I decided to leave before I worked myself up about it anymore. I shook his hand and told him what a pleasure it was doing business with him. I also added, "I enjoy meeting people like you in all different walks of life, it really makes me appreciate my education." After having said that I did not take the time to wait for his response. I smiled kindly at him briefly while gathering my paperwork and then walked out the front door. 
 


As a woman, not only do I have to compete with other woman on the same level, but I also have to compete with men who have an advantage. Not only do I have to compete with men for job positions but I also have to compete to be taken seriously. Men sexualize women to the point where they do not think we can be on the same level as them. No matter where I am or what I am trying to do there will always be a man who is one step ahead of me. Some men are a product of their environment and no not know any better than to think women are inferior to them. Some men know fully well what sexist stereotypes they are exhibiting and do not care. My hope is not to change the world because I am aware that one person cannot act alone to complete that. My hope is to make an impact in the life of every man that I come into contact with while doing business. I will simply do what I need to do while subconsciously showing them that I am fully capable of doing what they can do. 

I've recently realized what an advantage men have in the business world. My recent realization has not knocked me down in the slightest; it has motivated me to go above and beyond. I am willing to do what it takes to excel beyond all expectations of me and be successful in my life time. I will shake the hands of many men and many women in my journey and I will show my acquaintances what I am capable of.