Honey
Girly
Doll
During a recent conversation with a male friend of mine I was posed with the question, "Do you think women have to work harder to get to the exact same spot as men?"
As soon as the question was asked, it was not one that I had to think about or even consider. The way he had asked that question had hit me like a bus.
I was raised by a father who owns a car dealership and a mother who stayed home to raise four children while finishing her college degree. I was raised with beliefs that I can do anything or be anything that I want as long as I do all I can to get there. Everyone in my extended family has paved their own way in life whether they are male or female. Growing up in a family of entrepreneurs I have always had very high standards for myself.
This past month I went to New York on a business trip with my father and little sister. When we went to the office of a man who had purchased a vehicle from us, I went inside to present the paperwork to him. After he had signed the papers, I also did my part in the sale and signed them. The buyer cocked his head to one side and asked, "are you sure you're supposed to be signing those sweetie?" I was very taken back by his comment and for a moment didn't know what to do. I replied to him by saying, "While your comment was very rude, I have not been called 'sweetie' since I was about ten. I have been writing up car sales since before I could drive a vehicle." I was expecting an apology or recognition that he had said something wrong. I had not gotten either. While I said that he maintained a blank expression with maybe even a trace of amusement. I decided to leave before I worked myself up about it anymore. I shook his hand and told him what a pleasure it was doing business with him. I also added, "I enjoy meeting people like you in all different walks of life, it really makes me appreciate my education." After having said that I did not take the time to wait for his response. I smiled kindly at him briefly while gathering my paperwork and then walked out the front door.
As a woman, not only do I have to compete with other woman on the same level, but I also have to compete with men who have an advantage. Not only do I have to compete with men for job positions but I also have to compete to be taken seriously. Men sexualize women to the point where they do not think we can be on the same level as them. No matter where I am or what I am trying to do there will always be a man who is one step ahead of me. Some men are a product of their environment and no not know any better than to think women are inferior to them. Some men know fully well what sexist stereotypes they are exhibiting and do not care. My hope is not to change the world because I am aware that one person cannot act alone to complete that. My hope is to make an impact in the life of every man that I come into contact with while doing business. I will simply do what I need to do while subconsciously showing them that I am fully capable of doing what they can do.
I've recently realized what an advantage men have in the business world. My recent realization has not knocked me down in the slightest; it has motivated me to go above and beyond. I am willing to do what it takes to excel beyond all expectations of me and be successful in my life time. I will shake the hands of many men and many women in my journey and I will show my acquaintances what I am capable of.
Very nice reflection on your past, and in terms of yourself, it is good activism - but what about everyone reading? Try expanding your thoughts to include and speak to an entire audience of people who might be having the same issues and experiences, but haven't gotten to the point that you have - overcoming the harmful effects on you.
ReplyDeleteI really like hearing your point of view because I think it represents a specific group of young feminist women who have decided to better themselves as "proof in the pudding" rather than blaming a man. You all are out-in full force-in the business world! It cannot help but to change...
ReplyDeleteNice blog, Jessica! Clearly this is an issue that has been going on forever, and will continue to as long as men and women are in competition. While I did enjoy your story because it showed your position on the issue, I would be considerate of how men feel on the situation as well. Don't go into every incident with a negative outlook--don't always think that men are against you. Some may be in your very position and you do not realize it. Just continue to be confident and hardworking, and willing to collaborate. Because we don't want to flip the spectrum and make men feel less important. Otherwise, I did enjoy your take on this controversial subject! Nice job!
ReplyDeleteVery well put Jessica! I hate that this is still even an issue anymore, but you totally hit the nail right on the head. Women are still hitting that glass ceiling as hard as ever, and I do not see much progress being made to change that. I'm glad that you were confident about yourself and your abilities to walk out of that meeting walking tall and proud. I also really like that you touched on the topic of men giving women nick-names in the work place. Back home, I had a job where my boss would call me and leave messages and say 'alright see you tomorrow sweetie'. I thought it was totally inapropriate and that is one of the reasons I left. This is an easy topic to relate to and I'm glad you opened yourself up in this post!
ReplyDeleteVery nice blog Jessica! I like that you put your own life experience into the story. Maybe try and expand on a mens opinion on the issue. This is obviously a issue that is still relevant and I really enjoyed reading about our opinion on the subject.
ReplyDeleteLoved hearing your personal story, I believe it was a great touch and added another side of the blog. On a simple note, I liked your set up of the blog, I sometimes get bored with ready a paragraph, but this allowed my eyes to be pulled in. Great topic, and you are right, its sad that this is still an issue...
ReplyDeleteRecently, FEMEN activists had a (topless) protest, protesting that men unfairly run the entire economy. Heres a link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/28/femen-topless-protest-davos-switzerland-world-economic-forum_n_2567542.html.
ReplyDelete"Today FEMEN activists came to scream S.O.S. in Davos, S.O.S. from all women from all over the world, because we are tired of looking at those guys who are under protection, eating caviar and drinking champagne pretending they care about (the) women question," protester Inna Shevchenko told the Agence France-Presse."
How do you feel about this? Besides the toplessness, Is this something you're interested in? It sounds like your blog- you feel like men are a step ahead constantly- often in ways that are unfair. Men do have privilege for being men, but women are one group among many who are deinfranchized in the workplace and our economy.
To expand your blog, perhaps you can have a "call to action" for readers, saying what THEY can do TODAY that would help promote/achieve equality in the workplace/the economy. Things like pointing out the tag "sweetie" at the end of sentences does not show respect for the tagged, ect.
Overall, good blog and I'm excited to read more of yours!
I agree with your statement on how men seem to have an advantage on women in a business aspect. I also want to point out that not all men are like this, but I feel that in your travels you have experienced this. Our generations are changing and I have faith that you will make an impact. Even though it may only be a small impact, I think it will make a difference.
ReplyDeleteTo add to your blog, you could add something in this subject. Show that you might have experienced this change or that you have noticed differences in the way men act in different situations. Everyone responds differently to different situations, but in many situations, women have a heightened advantage.
While it's unfortunate to not be surprised by the man's actions, I am interested in the fact that he still acted in that way even though in some ways you held power as the seller (assuming you have the power to deny the transaction). I also applaud the fact that you brought up the distinct advantage being male identified has, especially in the corporate workplace. I also agree with Courtney that a call to action, would be great.
ReplyDeleteI loved your blog, Jessica! I liked the fact that you added in the personal story of meeting the man in New York to coincide with your claim that you believe men have an advantage in the workplace. I have to say that I agree with you. I liked the fact that you said, "My hope is to make an impact in the life of every man that I come into contact with while doing business." I thought this was a great way to make sure that you personally are trying to be an activist in fighting sexism in the workplace and beyond, starting with how YOU interact with men on a daily basis and are able to prove them wrong.
ReplyDeleteDiscrimination against women for being working women is something that is incredibly relevant to most of your audience. More than just calling someone "sweetie" or being patronizing, it's reflected in lower wages, fewer promotions, discriminatory practices regarding working mothers, and a whole host of other (incredibly frustrating) practices and policies. I'm interested to see how you explore the topic.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting blog! Your personal story really expressed your points you later stated. I also enjoyed how you came to conclusion and at the end by stating how this experience doesn't bring you down but drives you harder.
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ReplyDeleteI feel like a lot of people talk about this, but nothing has been done about it yet. I wonder why there is such a huge taboo when women want to have sex then when men want to have sex. Great Blog!
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