Can love be love
without sex?
Can a couple in this
day and age be in love without being in the sheets?
At the age
of sixteen I found a guy that made me appreciate life more than I ever had in
the past. We did everything a normal couple was doing at sixteen, except sex.
He was not a virgin but I was. He was eighteen and I was sixteen, which made us
sophomore and senior. We dated for about eight months and then broke up because
he left for college two hours away.
When I was
a sophomore in college I ran into him at a house party on winter break in our
hometown. We literally froze when we saw each other it was like a movie. He
made his way over to me immediately and gave me a huge hug. The next day he
texted me and said he really needed to talk to me. When he finally sat me down
to talk he basically professed his love to me. He said that for the past couple
of years he had been in love with me but due to the fact that I was in a
relationship he did not want to come in between that. Long story short we
started dating again for the second time and this time it lasted a little
longer than a year with two and a half hours between us. During this time we
still never had sex. We saw each other all the time and neither of us were
virgins at this point. I have no explanation as to why it never happened. All I
know is that what him and I had/have is stronger than any relationship I have
had involving sex or not. I broke it off for certain reasons, the main one
being distance, but we still have a very strong connection and talked weekly.
So the
question is… Can love be love without sex? I would have to argue yes. I will
even go as far as to say that it may help to hold off on sex. I see so many
young people jumping into the sheets to try saving a relationship or make a
relationship better. Do not get me wrong… I am NOT advising against sex in
relationships, sex is great. I have had sex in every other relationship besides
this one. Not having sex adds a sense of excitement and/or mystery and allows
you to know each other on a much deeper level. I am however saying that if
you are having troubles with all of your relationships and you’re having sex
with everyone who comes along… maybe try a relationship without
sex in the beginning. My sister recently told her boyfriend that she was going
to give up sex for lent and at
first was joking about it. After she saw his reaction she actually wanted to do
it. During that time period I have never seen those two more in love and
playful with each other. She actually accomplished giving it up for 40 days and
said it was so good for their relationship.
I could make
a list of things stating what you all can do to help or to change this, but this
isn’t really an issue. It is only a suggestion of something that could be beneficial
and possibly even fun. One can only be helped if they are willing to help
themselves. Maybe suggest this to a friend who is having troubles in a
relationship or a friend that cannot keep a healthy relationship. You could
even try it yourself in a relationship that you’re in or a future relationship.
I am currently working up the courage to try it so wish me luck!
This is a great
link for us as college students: The benefits of a sexless relationship in
college.
Ignoring the fact that this says no sex until marriage, this
link shows some great benefits about holding off on sex.
