Guy 1: "hey man what'd you do this
weekend?"
Guy 2: "Shit you know, I went over
to Lisa's house and she let me hit."
*High Five*
Guy 1: "Nice! Atta boy!"
Girl 1: "Hey girl! What'd you do
Saturday night? I saw you leave the bar with Bill again."
Girl 2: "Yeah we went back to my
place and well... you know."
*Screams, Hug*
Girl 1: "Oh my gosh girl
finally!"
Random Person: "How many people
have you guys been with?"
Guy 1: "Fifteen."
Random Person: "Nice! You're a
pimp man!"
Girl 1: "Same here!"
*Disgusted looks*
Random Person and guy 1:
"Slut!"
I
would like to start by saying if anyone disagrees with me that these are
typical conversations; go sit in the Smaug or somewhere on a college campus and
listen to these conversations. I have been part of many myself. A lot of men
honestly believe that the more women they sleep with the better and the more
men a woman has slept with, the more of a slut she is. Also, men believe that
men are more dateable the more women they have been with, and the exact
opposite for women.
Is it
true that the more women men have sex with the more other women want to date
them? I feel the opposite about that statement but a couple of my guy friends
think that it’s true. One of my guys friends said that the more women guys have
been with makes them more experienced talking to women and that’s what makes
them so smooth. He says that women don't care how many other women their man
has been with. He also stated that women don't respect themselves if they get
with multiple people but for guys it's okay because they get lonely.
As you
can imagine I was shocked while sitting in this conversation and was a little
offended. What makes this acceptable for men and not for women? It's not that
I'm advocating for having many sexual partners but this still isn't a fair
argument. To me, it is very unattractive when men have been with an abundance
of women. The worst thing is when they are proud of it. A lot of it has to do
with how they were raised but society is responsible for the majority of this
argument. Male music artists sing or rap about how many women they've been with
and what they do to them. On the other end of the spectrum, female music
artists sing about love and their special somebody (with the exception of Nicki
Minaj and a few select others).
The following link is a website in which men explain why “women
are sluts” as if they have the right of deciding:
This link proved to be interesting to me. It is talking
about the same concept that I did and gives a little more insight:
So what I'm gathering from this blog is that you think promiscuous people are icky. Which is fine and all that you think that...but I don't feel any call to action. I don't feel compelled to do anything or make a change. For each person who thinks promiscuous people are icky, there's a person who would love to be with a promiscuous person. I feel like I can see an activist response lying deep, DEEP within the surface here, but I don't see any actual activism. Try to analyse your subject a bit more and figure out WHAT you want to change, WHY it needs to be changed, and HOW we can change it.
ReplyDeleteI don't think promiscuous people are icky. I think it is unfair for men to be promiscuous and it is seen as being acceptable but when a woman in promiscuous she is labeled a slut.
DeleteI do agree with everything that you stated in your piece. These stereotypes are circulating around college campuses like crazy and I see the same problem that you see. You do state that you want to change the medias portrayal of this issue, but a little bit more about how to change it would have been beneficial. This is an issue that many people shy away from because people do not like talking about other people's sexual activity. Putting this in the light will hopefully open people's eyes to how ridiculous these conversations sound and personally change because of it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that these stereotypes exist in our society today, and it totally sucks. Being a girl in a college setting definitely puts me at a disadvantage, and it is a hard stereotype to break. I understand where you are coming from in your blog and the issue you are addressing, however I would have liked to see you dig deeper and come up with a more tangible solution. You address the issue well, but never really give us something to take away from it and help to change the problem. I also feel, like Kaylee said, that you are making it seem as if everyone who is sexually active is in the wrong. I know that I am like any other college girl and have had my fair share of one night things, and I am not ashamed of them. I do like that you included pictures, scenarios, and links to help us better understand your topic though, and serve as aids to learn more. Just make sure your idea of a solution isn't just providing us links to read about how to change it: how do YOU want to change it?
ReplyDeleteI think the examples of dialogue were a good choice. Exploring the topic a little deeper (for example, use of words and labels to discuss female sexuality that have no real male equivalent)might have made the blog seem more like change writing.
ReplyDeleteI would argue that while you are right about how the public discourse goes with slut shaming and forcing men to be hypersexual is correct today that we are on a trend of pushing women to be more sexual and slowly backing off the slut shaming and switching to prude shaming. While the double standard has been around for awhile, I think the scales are tipping in the other direction slowly but surely. I don't think it will be even 15 years from now and the societal pressure on women will have switched to "you're not having enough sex"/prude shaming from the slut shaming it is today.
ReplyDeleteThis is a common theme on college campuses. There is so much slut-shaming and ladies man encouraging. It is a double standard and its fudged up. I liked your conversation illistrations and the pictures were appropriate for the topic. However, I would like to hear a solution to this problem. How can we break this double standard? In what ways can we as students participate in changing slut-shaming, prude-shaming, man-whore encouraging or making fun of people (for whatever reason) are celibate.
ReplyDeleteThe whole concept of slut-shaming and the double standard, I feel, comes from the entitlement complex that is instilled in male socialization. It's definitely a sickening, sexist thing to see and hear; but I'm curious to what your thoughts on how we can address these issues?
ReplyDeleteReally good idea for your blog, the dialogue was a genius idea! I did not feel that your blog was being harsh or attacking those who are promiscuous. I totally believe your argument is spot on. This is totally a double standard in our society and slut shamming we do to women, but not males. Very interesting topic.
ReplyDeleteI like the premise of your post which seems to be the double standards regarding men and women and their sexual histories. Personally, I guess I don't hear a lot of this anymore since I am past the average college-age. It's unfortunate that we haven't progressed further as men and women considering the pressures put on society more and more towards equality. I would like to see you delve into a solution, also. The part that really struck me was your "friend" speaking about women's lack of self-respect versus men being lonely. Do you think these labels stem from men and women's perspectives of themselves at all? Do women believe they are slutty when they choose multiple partners based on what society has taught them?
ReplyDeleteI cannot really agree or argue with this. Yes this kind of stuff does happen but I do not think we should be generalizing this much. The double standards to exist but not nearly as bad as they had years ago. Honestly the negatives caused by one persons actions should not out way the potential good caused by ten but the negatives are always the most publicized.
ReplyDeleteI believe a lot of progress has been made in the past decade as far as slut-shamming and and men being "pimps." I think many women and men of our generation have a higher number of people they have "slept" with compared to people the same as us 20 years ago and more of an equality has been reached as far as people looking down on women that are more promiscuous.
ReplyDeleteI think you had a really good point in this blog: bringing up the double standard for men and women with the amount of people that they have slept with. I also found it funny that you said how easily you can overhear these conversations while on campus. I agree with Courtney- I would have liked to see what you propose we do to solve this problem. This double standard and slut shaming is still going on, but how do we correct this?
ReplyDeleteThis is a really great topic. I hate that slut shaming is still so prominent in our society. It is no ones place to judge someone for how high or low the number of people they have slept with is. I have also been involved in a number of these conversations and peoples reactions when it comes to me my turn to share is ridiculous. As long as the individual is at peace with their actions, everything is fine.
ReplyDelete